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My girls were at a sleepover, so it was just three of us for dinner. We decided to get Chinese takeout. When one of my twins got home and saw the leftovers in the fridge, she was upset—and let us know it.
Her: “I can’t believe you got Chinese food without us! I’ve been wanting that!” (and on and on)
Me: “Please be aware of how you are coming across right now – complaining and whining about something you didn’t get.”
Her: “I’m not whining. I am simply expressing my feelings. I am mad.”
Me: “You’re not just expressing your feelings, you are coming across as ungrateful.”
Her: “I’m not ungrateful. I’m just telling you about my feelings. And you’re discounting them.”
I’m sure my mother is smiling if she’s reading this. I can’t say she didn’t warn me about raising such empowered kids. For all my other readers, though, let me suggest that this exchange, while seemingly trivial, mirrors a broader shift in how younger generations approach emotional expression. And it’s a shift that’s making waves in the workplace.
The Emotional Intelligence Advantage (and Challenge)
Gen Z, born between the mid-1990s and early 2010s, is often characterized as the most emotionally aware generation in the workforce. Arguably, they’re more adept at recognizing and articulating their feelings. Or maybe they’re just more vocal. Either way, this emotional shift can be both an asset and a challenge in the professional environment.
Like many parents who are raising Gen Z, I’ve actively taught my children to express their emotions, to use “feeling words,” and to identify their emotional states—practices we even incorporate into our workplace workshops. However, as both a manager and a parent, I can admit that dealing with this constant emotional expression can be taxing.
We hear this frustration in workplaces across the country, where managers are grappling with a generation that’s been encouraged to openly express their feelings in ways previous generations generally weren’t.
When Everyone’s a Therapist: The Self-Diagnosis Dilemma at Work
A friend recently shared that in her son’s post-college friend group of five, every single one identifies with some kind of diagnosis (mental health or neurodivergence). While this openness about mental health is generally positive, it can present new challenges in the workplace.
Researchers Lucy Foulkes and Jack Andrews from the University of Oxford have identified a phenomenon they call “prevalence inflation,” where mild or transient symptoms are sometimes reported as mental health disorders.
In a New York Times video essay, “High-Functioning Anxiety Isn’t a Medical Diagnosis. It’s a Hashtag,” Foulkes describes a “massive cultural shift” in how we talk about psychology and our feelings. She argues that while all this awareness reduces stigma, it’s also convincing some young people that they have a mental illness when they don’t.
Referencing TikTok and other digital platforms, Foulkes says, “More young people are self-diagnosing based on this flood of information and interpreting normal daily struggles as mental illness.”
This trend adds another layer of complexity for managers. The widespread self-diagnosis and open discussion of mental health issues in the workplace can lead to several challenges:
Organizations can work to create a workplace environment that acknowledges mental health concerns while also empowering employees to take active steps in managing their well-being. This involves:
It’s crucial to note lack of access to proper mental health treatment remains a significant issue, particularly for young people. Managers need to be aware of the very real need for support and treatment when genuine problems arise.
Striking a Balance: Empathy and Professionalism
As managers, we’re faced with a delicate balancing act. On one hand, we want to create an environment where people feel safe discussing their emotions. On the other, we need to maintain a professional atmosphere where work gets done efficiently.
The danger is creating a culture where everyone feels the need to express every emotion, potentially leading to an environment of constant complaints and lack of ownership.
Strategies for Managers: Building Your Emotional Toolkit
As managers, many of us were taught that the workplace is not a place for emotions. We might feel uncomfortable with emotional discussions or even want to shut them down entirely. But this approach is no longer effective. The reality is that emotions in the workplace aren’t going away—so it’s time for managers to adapt.
How to Build Your Skills…
…And Help Employees Develop Theirs
The Path Forward
Managing Gen Z’s emotions in the workplace isn’t about suppressing feelings or opening an emotional firehose. Instead, it’s about finding a middle ground where emotions are acknowledged and managed productively.
By striking this balance, we can create work environments that are both emotionally intelligent and professionally effective. The goal is not just to accommodate Gen Z’s emotional needs, but to harness their emotional intelligence as a strength, leading to more engaged, satisfied, and productive teams.
In the end, managing emotions in the workplace is less about generational divides and more about fostering a culture of mutual understanding, respect, and growth. By rising to this challenge, we have the opportunity to create workplaces that are not only more empathetic but also more innovative and resilient in the face of change.
As I think about my daughter and her future in the workplace, I’m reminded of the importance of this work. One day, she might be working for one of you, bringing her emotional awareness and empowered voice to your team. And who knows? Maybe by the time she enters the workforce, we’ll have mastered the art of balancing empathy with professionalism, creating an environment where expressing feelings and getting work done go hand in hand.
Written by Teresa Hopke
President, Talking Talent Americas
16 Aug 2024
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